Liveblogging the Grammy Awards Hour Two

904 Beyonce looks good, even if what she’s saying is inane…wait, what’s with that…tie..thing..seatbelt…good thing you’re so hot…whoa, Tina! What is that fabric? Oh no, botox…why’d you do it? You look like Renee Zellweger. I dunno if I love or hate the latex/lame disaster outfit. It’s kinda hot in a WHAT THE FUCK kinda way…Beyonce’s new outfit is better than that seatbelt tie monstrosity. Oh good, a duet that makes some musical sense. This is fun, what the grammys should be

913 who are these wax ladies talking abt Burt Bacrach? Are they from The Hills or something?

919 if I never heard “hey there Delilah”, or anything by the Plain White Tees, or the name Plain White Tees again, it would be ok. Really. Oh, really? Amy Winehouse beat Rhianna for song of the year? I dunno if I agree.

921 oh look, my “my grammy moment” choice won. The Foo Fighters are ok. Better than 99% of rock that gets play nowadays. Much as I’d rather hear Dave Grohl drum than play guitar. Why does Dave Grohl assume that the audience knows the words? Welcome to the aughts, Dave. They don’t know the f-ing words.

927 “Kid Rock and a new female friend” coming up???? WTF? Must be he’s gonna co-present with a cartoon or something.

934 wait, who is this dude? This is disgusting1 “your jeans are playing peeakaboo”? what does that even mean? Her ass crack is sometimes showing? He’d like to see “the other half of your butterfly tattoo”? Yeah, mst be that her ass crack was showing. that’s gotta be the shnastiest come hither line I’ve heard tonight. She’s putting the bottle to her lips and he wishes he were “your beer”? This is just tacky. Oh, he’s Brad Paisley, as I can now see from the multiple ginormous flashing neon signs behind him.

938 the fuck is Solange wearing. I like how its all last years albums up for best rap album. Kanye gets this easy. Yup, he got it. Man, “Can’t tell me nothing” is agood song. LOVE the glasses and jacket and “MAMA” shaved in his hair. LOVE you. Don’t play him off stage! Yeah, stay right there. Oh snap, don’t play while he talks about his mother! OH SNAP, he called them out on it and THEY STOPPED! Kanye is my hero. That may have been the most true “we run this” I’ve heard ever. LOVE him.

944 Aretha isn’t too shabby either. Love the band. This is going on a long time. What is the theme here? Besides Jesus? What’s happening? Did I miss the exposition? Is it just a misc. gospel medley?

955 I just looked at the merged final log of the first hour of the grammys…how did I miss logging “Klondike” in “Stronger”? I was too hung up on how he blanked out “dyke” that I blanked on the fact that the present half of the rhyme was a PRODUCT

957 oh great, Feist . I don’t even hate her, it’s just so…mundane.